The Best Traveler Award Goes to... Wyatt Smith!

On April 23rd, Trudi, Megan, Ryan, Wyatt and I flew out to Houston for Lori Hernandez' first birthday party. I'm sure all air travelers have had their own experiences with a hysterical baby. Annoying as it is, my heart goes out to parents trying to comfort a crying baby in confined quarters at 30,000 feet (but not to those parents who don't seem to care what others think).

Wyatt is a great little guy, but when he wants something, he wants it now and lets you know about it. So I was just a bit anxious how he'd handle four hours on a plane.

Well, surprise, surprise! The little guy was a champ. Hardly a fussy moment at all going out to Houston. Just a pleasant little dude. I got to hold him for a while, and it was a great grandpa/grandson time.

OK, Wyatt, you did well on the trip out, but it was a morning flight, and that's your happiest time of the day. But what about the 3:30 p.m. return flight? Wyatt can sometimes get cranky in the early evening, and as I noted above, when he gets fussy, you know it.

Once again, our little man delivered. He slept much of the time, and when he wasn't asleep, he was charming the socks off of everyone. Seriously, I couldn't imagine a better behaved baby.

As we disembarked, Megan and Ryan asked the pilot for a set of wings to commemorate Wyatt's first round trip flight. Congrats, Wyatt. You da man!

Happy Birthday, Lori!

Today is Lori Hernandez' one year birthday. Wow! Time has really flown, and Lori has really grown. She's 17 pounds... still pretty tiny by one-year-old standards. But it's a spunky 17 pounds. And she's walking, saying a few words, blowing kisses, waving hello and good-bye... all those endearing things that grandparents love.

This photo was taken recently in a field of blue bonnets, the state flower of Texas. What you can't see in this photo is the many families taking photos of themselves among the blue bonnets. It's a seasonal tradition!

And here's the Hernadez family. Jorge and Dana have really made Houston their home, have a growing circle of awesome friends, and they're doing great as parents, too. That's really a blessing to see.

What I don't have yet is a photo of Lori eating her first birthday cake. What a hoot! I'll upload those as soon as I get them.

A Rockin' Weekend

This past weekend I was at Asilomar in Pacific Grove. I was blessed to be part of the band providing the worship music for the MPPC Men's Summit. Jeff Finger, the worship leader at our Cafe services, fronted the band, which included Derek Shaeffer on keys, Marc Swanson on electric guitar, Scott Clarke on drums, Steve Kreidler running sound, and me on bass.

We've been playing together for several years now, and for me, playing with these guys just gets better and better. Before each of the four sessions, we got to do some totally fun warm-up tunes, including "Feelin' Alright" and "I Won't Back Down." One of the surprise moments was having pastor Mark Swarner sit in on electric guitar for the warm-up song "The Thrill Is Gone." Mark is an awesome speaker and an equally good guitar player.

In addition to the MPPC guys, a bunch of guys from the School of Urban Mission attended the Summit, and they brought such a fresh and free spirit, particularly to the worship music. Every time we started a song they recognized... bam! They're on their feet, hands lifted up, singing with all their heart. It really helped take the singing to another level. Playing "Mighty to Save" and "Hosanna" with these guys was an experience I'll never forget.

Hanging out with the band has definitely made me a better bass player. And more than that, it's made me a better person. These guys are great musicians, but first and foremost, they're quality guys.

If anybody asks me to play at Asilomar again, consider this a standing "yes!"

Where The Light Is

I just finished watching a terrific DVD: "Where the Light is: John Mayer Live in Los Angeles." Amazing performances, by John and all of the other musicians.

Until a few years ago, Mayer's guitar chops took a back seat to his catchy, potetic, finely crafted pop songs. That changed with "Try!" by the John Mayer Trio, a blues/rock power trio consisting of Mayer on vocals and lead electric guitar, and two of the best session musicians in the business: Pilo Palladino on bass and Steve Jordan on drums and backing vocals. With a trio, there's no place to hide... and Mayer doesn't need to. His playing is simply stellar, and he holds his own with his two legendary side men.

In this concert, Mayer opens for himself, starting off with a solo acoustic set, followed by a Trio set, followed by a set with his full band. All of the sets are great, but my favorite... this should not be a surprise to you... was the Trio. First off, the guys look cool, dressed in matching tuxedos with thin black ties... sort of Men in Black play the blues. But more importantly, they are cool, pumping out some of the best blues rock I've heard in years (and I grew up on the 60s power trios of the Jimi Hendrix Experience and Cream). Through the special features, I was able to view the concert through the Pino Palladino camera alone. He's not the greatest showman, I'll admit. He stands like a scarecrow (he's well over six feet tall and as thin as a rail) bobbing his head in time. But his super-long fingers are positively flying.

I got a chance to relisten to this concert driving down the the MPPC Men's Summit this last weekend with Marc Swanson. Marc had the CD in his car. This is fine stuff. Flick the DVD or buy the CD. And if you've not yet heard "Try!" get that one, too.

The Day My World Changed Forever

Yesterday's post was a silly one; this one's sentimental...

March 12, 1977, was the day my world changed forever. I'm not overstating it. It's the day I met Trudi. It was Saturday, and my roommate, Skip Rung, and I were attending a seminar at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church. Unbeknowst to me, Trudi was there, too. At noon we adjourned to the Fellowship Hall for lunch. Skip looked up and saw someone he recognized from MPPC's college group. "Oh, here's someone you should meet," he said.

I agreed. Now, I don't have the best memory for detail. But I will never forget the moment I saw her. I don't believe in love at first sight, not real love anyway. But the attraction was instantaneous. Long blonde hair, beautiful eyes, great figure, and that signature Trudi sparkle. I even remember what she was wearing: a long-sleeved white sweater, a blue scarf, and bell bottom blue jeans.

Our paths didn't cross again until a month or so later, but once they crossed, they never separated. We were married on December 17th of that year. This photo of Trudi on our wedding day is still one of my favorites.

It boggles my mind when I think about how much I owe to that day. Everything in my life... my daughters, my sons-in-law, my grandchildren, where we live, where we work, my hobbies, my friends... all of it flows from that "chance" meeting 32 years ago today.

God is good!

Do You Ear What I Hair?

I really like the stage of life I'm in. The girls are all grown up. Two fine sons in law. Two awesome grandkids. Good job with a good company. And I'm married to Trudi.

Is there any downside? Well, not so much a downside, just an annoyance. Aches and pains? Nah, I can deal with those. Wanna know? I'm going to tell you anyway.

It's ear hair. We have really good lighting in the bathrooms at work, and you can see every little thing. Today I found a really long one growing out of the top of my ear. Honest. Like half an inch! Why didn't somebody take me aside? I must have been walking around with this one for weeks. Sheesh.

Why is this happening? I'm told it's because of an immutable law of aging: the conservation of body hair. Lose it in one place, gain it in another. When a guy turns 40 or so, he starts sprouting hair in places where hair just plain doesn't belong.

You can't wish it away; you've got to be vigilant. Pull it. Tweeze it. Trim it. Nair it. Wax it. Whatever it takes.

Of course there are those who not only don't remove it, they cultivate it. Here's a pic of the Guinness record holder for the longest ear hair. Radhakant Baijpai is an Indian grocer who "boasts" ear hair measuring 10 inches long.

Not only is he the world record holder, he's... get this... married.

I stand in awe.

From a Newborn to a Baby Boy

It's been a while since I told you what's up with my grandson, Wyatt Smith. He's almost six weeks old, and he came over on Sunday for a quick visit (along with Ryan and Megan, of course).

You know that cliché that every newborn looks like Winston Churchill. Hardly a compliment, but often true. Well, the little guy is definitely changing from Winston to Wyatt. He no longer has that newborn look; he looks like a baby boy... like, well, himself!

What's even more cool is to see him connecting with people, smiling, making baby noises (other than crying!). That's especially gratifying for parents, who give and give for weeks... feeding, changing, always at baby's beck and call. Now, Wyatt's starting to give back, starting to recognize Mom and Dad. Those first few weeks can be especially draining. A knowing look from baby, or the curl of a smile, are sweet moments that really go a long way to recharging a new parent's batteries.

Check out the latest photos of Wyatt on Megan and Ryan's blog, the Smitty Gritty.

I'm so happy for Megan and Ryan. And if you can't tell, I'm really enjoying being a grandpa!

Wanna Hear Some Great Live Music?

Sorry I've been silent for a couple of weeks. Work has been pretty all-consuming of late. I'll try to do a better job of posting more consistently. Those who know me know I love to spread the word about good music. Today's post was triggered by an email from Jared Milos.

If you want to hear some truly outstanding live reggae and soul, you have to check out the Vintage Music Collective at the BBC in Menlo Park this Thursday, March 12, from 10:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. In Jared's words, the Vintage Music Collective is "a 12-piece multi-ethnic multi-gendered party-focused band." They pump out some of the "funnest" music you'll ever hear. Trudi and I heard them the last time they were at the BBC, and the place was jumpin'!

While I recognize a number of the band members, I know two: Justin Phipps and Jared Milos. Justin plays pretty much everything, and plays everything well, though he's mostly on guitar here. Jared is the bass player I want to be when I grow up. I'm serious. I've admired Jared's playing ever since I took up the bass. The man can groove, and for me, that's what the bass is all about.

Here are a couple of YouTube links that'll give you a feel for their music:

• Could You Be Loved as performed at the Bistro in Hayward: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usEHZNHU2Ao
• Feel Like Makin' Love as performed at the Little Fox in Redwood City: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHR9DfvQYos

Hope to see you at the BBC!

A "Real Deal" Italian Meal

On Saturday night, Trudi, Kent Reed and I spent a great evening in San Francisco. First we spent an hour or so at a gathering hosted by our Cafe worship leader, Jeff Finger, at a friend's house. I got to meet a number of folks from Jeff's wide musical circle. Great people all.

We then went to dinner at "Cha Cha Cha," a restaurant in the Haight-Ashbury district... or tried to. Unfortunately, there was an hour wait for a table. Were we bummed? On the contrary, we new our dining adventure was just beginning.

As a professional musician, Kent has spent countless evenings in San Francisco. He's performed pretty much everywhere and knows all of the classic hangout spots. So we knew that Kent would lead us to a great place. Tonight it was "Capp's Corner," a North Beach Italian restaurant that you really need to check out.

Capp's Corner is the kind of place the locals have been going for decades and decades. Photos of local and national celebrities (Joe Dimaggio, Herb Caen, etc.) cover the walls. The food is not fancy, just absolutely authentic Italian. For under $20 you get your choice of a dozen or more dishes, along with pasta, minestrone and salad. I had the chicken parmigiano, their most popular dish. I cut out most fried foods long ago, but allowed myself this treat. We had a nice bottle of Coppola wine and spumoni for dessert, and the whole thing came to $40 a person, including tax and a generous tip.

We'll probably get to Cha Cha Cha eventually, but it was so much fun experiencing this San Francisco landmark that the next time we go to eat in the City, we'll probably just say what we said this time, "Kent, lead the way!"

Sharing the Gift of Music

Ryan and Megan asked me if, when Wyatt gets older and expresses an interest in guitar, I would share guitar with him. Easy answer: You bet!

As I'd mentioned in an earlier blog entry, one of the sweetest memories I have of my grandfather was of him playing guitar, leading us in singing folk songs and silly songs. One of my favorites in the latter category is "One Fish Ball" ("A little man, walked up and down, to see what he could find in town"). But I digress.

There is something very special about passing things down from generation to generation, both for those who give and those who receive. I was given a blessed gift by my grandfather, who gave me my first guitar lesson shortly before he passed away. I now play his guitar, and think about him every time I pick it up. It was those early memories that helped shape my love of music, including silly/novelty songs.

No way I'm going to miss the chance to share the gift I myself received. Time to start collecting songs.

It's... Uh... Like... Y'know... Hard to Say

I was reading an interview with Bristol Palin, teenage daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, and a new mom. I admire her for deciding to raise her child. It's hard enough being a parent under the best of circumstances. How much harder to be a young, as-yet-unwed, mother whose life is being scrutinized and discussed so publicly.

And to make matters worse, there are people like me who blog about her enthusiastic use of the word "like." She like uses the word in like every sentence.

But in her defense, every generation has its favorite meaningless filler word, and to be honest, Bristol, so do I. Filler words are words that we insert into our speech to give our mouths something to do while our brains are trying to figure out what we want to say... a linguistic "Hamburger Helper," if you will.

• When I was in elementary and high school, we said "uh" and "um" a lot. We had a really tough teacher who would say the word "um" every time we did in a verbal report. Talk about embarassing!


• Then "y'know" became fashionable. I'm still guilty of using this one a lot.


• Bristol's generation seems to love "like."


• "Valley Girl" speak was pretty much all filler. It's like... y'know... Ohmygosh!

Just so you don't think I'm just pointing the finger at others, I've been told that I've been stammering a lot lately. This is true. Things have been moving at a pretty hectic pace at work, and no doubt I've picked up this affectation as a way to give my brain a few more nanoseconds to process something meaningful.

I googled filler words and found a good little article by Joseph Dewey at Amazon.com. In addition to the above filler words, he lists some "advanced filler words," such as "just," "very," and "really," which aren't as annoying to the ear as filler words, but which can often be removed from speech without changing the meaning one bit. Dewey also offers some tips on eliminating filler words from your speech.

Some very good... y'know... food for thought!

You Are What You Watch

I've got a theory that you can tell whether someone's a conservative or a liberal based on their views about two issues, sex and violence. Specifically, which they see as the bigger threat to society:

• Liberals see violence (war, guns, etc.) as the great threat to society. They have a more laissez faire view of sex. What's the big deal with sex anyway? It's a natural part of life.
  


• Conservatives on the other hand see sex (and possibly also the associated drugs and rock 'n' roll) as the great threat. They have far fewer issues with violence and have a much easier time justifying war. After all, we live in a violent world.

How this manifests itself is interesting. Liberals are ready, willing and able to legislate guns and such, but keep government out of the bedroom. Conservatives support so-called morality laws, but don't take my guns.

Check out the movies they watch, or the ones they let their kids watch. Liberals are OK with bedroom scenes or nudity, but if there's shooting, forget it. Conservatives allow movies with all kinds of violence, but if there's a sexual situation, click.

Am I generalizing? Sure, but I think this generally plays out.

How about those who are OK with violence and sex? Libertarians.

And those who are staunchly against both? I dunno. Amish? :-)

An Amazing Evening of Music

On Sunday evening, Marc Swanson, John Freshwaters and I went to see Laurence Juber at the Little Fox Theater in Redwood City. Most people have never heard of this guy. I certainly hadn't until a few years ago, when he was a guest on Greg Kihn's morning show on KFOX radio. In the late 70s, Laurence was the lead guitarist with Paul McCarney's Wings. Since then, he's distinguished himself as one of the premier acoustic finger style guitarists around. Seriously, this guy is jaw-droppingly good.

Marc and I saw him last year at the Little Fox, so we knew we were in for a special treat. He played two Martin guitars (both Laurence Juber signature models), one in standard tuning (EADGBE), and one in "DADGAG" tuning, the latter being the one he played the most. He played an eclectic mix of songs, from the Beatles and other popular artists to show tunes and original compositions. Check him out on iTunes, or better still, on YouTube, which does a better job of capturing the vitality of his live performance. Particularly lovely is While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

As the first notes leaped from his guitar, we gave up trying to figure out how he was doing what he was doing. Even if you filmed it and played it back a frame at a time, you'd never get it. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.

And enjoy it we did. For nearly two hours, Laurence shared his gifts with us. You come away from these types of performances either inspired to practice guitar... or just give it up. Well, I'm going to practice, not to be like Laurence, 'cause that's not gonna happen. But I will be a better me, and that's a plenty good goal.

Uniquely Made

We got the chance to hang out again with our grandson, Wyatt, and his parent, Ryan and Megan. Tons of fun, as always. 10 days old and he's really looking like a baby vs. a newborn. And he's already showing his unique personality. For example, most of the time he's a pretty chill kid. But in the evening, around 8:00 or so, he has a squirmy period. Squirmy, lifting his head up, looking around. Oh, there might be environmental explanations, like he's had a lot of stimulation throughout the day and gets squirmy at night to work it all out. But it's also likely that it's just how he is.

Our daughter, Megan, was fussy in the late afternoon and early evening. Why? That's just how she was (she has since grown out of this phase, thank goodness!).

Now, to be sure, you can't tell much about how someone will be by how they are as a 10-day-old, and that's not my point. I'm just saying that, contrary to the educational training I received in graduate school in the mid-1970s, we're not blank slates. The book of Genesis says that God created us in His image, and the Psalms speak of God knowing us even as we're being formed in the womb. We're all uniquely made by our Creator, and those uniquenesses are visible very early on.

This can make parenting a challenge, because what you learn with one child may not help you with another child. But that's not a bad thing. It's good to be reminded that we can't control everything, that we need to rely on the one who created our children. And knowing that our children are uniquely created makes parenting an adventure, to discover and encourage our children to develop their talents and pursue the things that interest them.

How fun it will be to see this little guy grow!

A Super Sunday with Wyatt

I promised to share some pics of my grandson, Wyatt Smith. Here is one from the hospital. On Superbowl Sunday, I got to spend a whole afternoon and evening with the little guy. Tons of fun! Got to hold him while he slept, and he slept a bunch. Being born really takes it out of you!

It's fun to see Megan and Ryan as first-time parents. Takes me back to when Megan was born. Even after all that preparation, you still don't know squat. You have to rely on God, on others, and on each other. And that's a good place to be.

Mid-afternoon, Ryan and I ran some errands, including buying and installing a dimmer switch on the living room light (so it wouldn't be shining in the baby's eyes), and driving down to pick up a rocking chair (an absolute necessity, as you parents know).

On the drive, Ryan was commenting that before Wyatt was born, he couldn't imagine what it would be like once he arrived. Now that he's here, Ryan can't imagine how it would be without him. That's a good place for a father to be. It means you're embracing the role, not just out of duty, but with your heart. Kids need dads who're engaged like that.

We got back from our errands in time to watch the Superbowl. Imagine that: baby's first Superbowl, though the little fella slept through a lot of it. He's not ready for solid food, so Ryan and I split his share of the chips!

It's also really special to see Megan as a new mom. She's one of the most naturally nurturing people I know. She and her sister Dana are both gifted in that way. And now Meg has a child of her very own to pour her life into. Parenting isn't easy, but it's easily the finest thing I've done. I look forward to watching Ryan and Megan experience this as well.

Grandpa, meet Wyatt!

Meet Wyatt Browning Smith, first child of Ryan and Megan Smith. Wyatt was born at 4:00 p.m. on January 29, 2009. He weighed in at 6 pounds, 6 ounces, and is 19.5 inches long. Mom and baby are doing well, as is proud papa Ryan.

Wyatt is my second grandchild and my first grandson, and I have to say that I'm really digging being a grandpa. Here's a pic of me with my new little buddy. I'll post some better quality pics when I get them.

He's a cute little guy. The baby hat, which they put on all newborns, gives him an adorable Hobbit-like quality. Who does he look like? Hard to tell. Frankly, Megan and Ryan look enough alike that he's probably a pretty even blend of both of them. But time will tell. That's one of the fun things about watching a baby grow.

So far as I know, he's the first Wyatt in the family. But it sounds great with Smith, doesn't it? And Browning is a family name that's been handed down as a middle name for generations. The Brownings were residents of the Jamestown colony in the early 1600s (as was John Smith, come to think of it!). They participated in the westward movement in the 1800s, and several Browning women broke through gender barriers in medicine and law in the early 1900s. A "can do" bunch, and no doubt Wyatt will continue this legacy.

Wyatt Browning Smith. Rock solid name, don't you think?

More to come soon. I just had to share the news!

What a Day!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009... what a day! It's been more than 24 hours since Barack Obama's innauguration, and I'm still kind of stunned by it all. Regardless of your political leanings, this was one for the history books.

I'll never forget when the Berlin wall came down in November 1989. I lived for a time in Germany in the 1970s and visited Berlin on several occasions. I got to see the wall and the "no man's land" that separated East and West first hand. One of the most sobering experiences of my life. My German friends honestly believed the wall would never come down in their lifetimes. When it did, we were all stunned, absolutely speechless. Yesterday was like that for me. Walls came down in the midst of chaotic and uncertain times. Like that bright day in Berlin nearly 20 years ago, hope shone through.

Whatever your political affiliation, pray for our President and all of our political leaders. They, we, our country and our world surely need it. Oh, and if you receive any incendiary emails... you know, the ones that trash this leader or that, typically with a caustic, sarcastic or holier-than-thou tone... don't forward them to me. I'm open to discuss anything, but I'm done with those things.

I was talking with my new boss at HP the other day, and we got onto the subject of people he admired. He said that he particuarly admired people who've built something, who prevailed through good times and bad to create something of lasting value. I've been thinking about that comment a lot today. We've got a shot to do that, if we can come together, drop the rhetoric and negativity, and get down to building a brighter future.

All the best,
Dave

Bach's Mass in B Minor

I was priviledged to go along with Kent Reed to a performance of Bach's Mass in B Minor in Berkeley yesterday evening. Kent is the timpanist with the American Bach Soloists, performers of baroque and early classical music using period instruments... the instruments (or copies thereof) that were played at the time the music was composed.

Bach's B Minor Mass is a compilation of elements penned earlier in the composer's career. Surprisingly, there is no record of the piece having been performed in its entirety in Bach's lifetime, though his son, C.P.E. Bach, conducted a perfomance of it in 1786. The piece was virtually forgotten until the mid-1800's, around a century after the composer's death.

Kent told me if you were to make a list of the greatest choral pieces every composed, this would rank right up at the very top. And from what I heard last night, he's right. I'm no expert... far from it... but from the opening strains, I was transfixed.

I think it's amazing that something we now consider so transcendent in its beauty was essentially passed over by the generation that first heard it.

On a separate but related note, I was so very impressed by the performers... my friend, Kent, included... who devote themselves to giving the rest of us a glimpse of what it must have been like to have heard this music performed in its day. Kent's timpani, for example, are English-made and from about 1840. They are tuned by hand knobs, not by pedals like modern timpani. The trumpets and french horns of the period have no valves at all; the musicians play the scales using only lip control. The oldest instrument was an upright bass from the late 1600's... over three centuries old!

If you ever get the chance to hear period instruments, do it. And if you can ever hear Bach's B Minor Mass, that's a must-do as well.

My Fathering Goals

Interesting what you find when you look through old files. Here are my fathering goals from 1997. Megan was just finishing up her sophomore year in high school, and Dana her eighth grade year. I don't recall where I got them. Maybe from a book, or an email that someone sent me.

In any case, looking back, these are still the goals I would choose if I were a new father, and I share them with you.

Dave

DB's Fathering Goals
March 1997

1. Frequently affirm her strengths, unique talents and value. Celebrate her successes, large and small.


2. Lovingly encourage her and sacrificially support her in her areas of weakness.
   
3. Remind her patiently; don't lecture her. You, too, are still growing.


4. Keep your promises, and help her keep hers.
   
5. Do not force your agenda or life goals on her, but help her discover her dreams and God's plans for her life.
   
6. Teach her that success is not measured by grades, popularity, looks, wealth, power or worldly achievements. Only what we do for the Kingdom of God will last.
   
7. Forgive completely; apologize quickly and sincerely.


8. Pray continually for her, and frequently with her.
   
9. Teach her how to walk a life of faith, first by example, then with words. This foundation of faith will give guidance in uncertain times, strength in hard times, and perspective in good times.
   
10. When in doubt, ask "What would Jesus do?"

Restoration

Ryan and Megan bought an old dresser that we're fixing up to be used as a changing table for Baby Smith. It's been a long time since I've don't this kind of work, but I used to do a lot way back when. Here's a reflection from those days...

Restoration

I have to do something with this old dresser
Painting it yet again won't do any good
It has been painted over one too many times already
No, it has to be stripped down to the wood
And restored from the ground up

So I brush on a chemical gel to strip the paint
Man, this stuff is caustic
I'm glad the dresser doesn't feel pain
Because this would surely hurt

I wipe off the gel and meticulously scrape the stuff
Out of the cracks

Well, what do you know?
Solid cherry wood
Dovetail joints
Inlay on the top and on the drawer fronts

After an entire afternoon of cleaning and sanding
I stand back and admire the thing
Four hours ago it was trash
Now it is a treasure!

That's the difference between covering and restoring
Covering is quick and easy
It hides the damage and the blemishes
But only for a while
Until the thing is destroyed from within

Restoration is slow and tiresome
Stripping away the layers is painful
And repairing damage is hard, hard work
But it is God's way of turning
Trash into treasure!

I Get So Busy I Forget I'm In Love With You

No sooner had the Christmas merchandise and decorations been removed from stores than the Valentine's Day stuff started rolling in. Valentine's Day is still over a month away, but it got me thinking about the state of my own heart.

I've been going through some changes at work (new manager, new assignments... that sort of thing) and so I've been more than usually "me" focused lately. Needless to say, this has trickled over into my personal life.

When I got married, I promised to love, honor, stand beside, etc. In short, I signed up to serve Trudi in love. I don't recall hearing... and have yet to hear at anybody else's wedding... anything about making sure I got what I needed out of the deal. And yet, I think that's been how I've been acting lately.

For the umpteenth time, I'm re-realizing that "me-ism" is death to love. It's the antithesis of how things should be. Oh, sure, the opposite is also true: you can't be the only one who gives. But me-ism is, at least for me, the easier rut to get stuck in.

I'm reminded of a song by Noel Paul Stookey (of Peter, Paul & Mary) called "By Surprise" that has a great line:

I know it sounds funny, but it's true
I get so busy I forget I'm in love with you
And every now and then

We need to get away to get close again

Missing the mark in love isn't necessarily deliberate. Oftentimes I just let things slide. Or as the song says, I forget I'm in love. Over time, I can get way off course. Getting back on course can sometimes be a simple as remembering. Thinking about those early days, what first attracted (and continues to attract) me to Trudi, reminds my why I fell in love in the first place. And that reminds me that I'm still in love and encourages me to get back to a you-centered love: honoring, serving... cherishing the love of my life. From the big decisions in life down to the everyday little things like making the bed in the morning (which is important to her) or fixing a margarita just the way she likes it.

For those who want to know: 1 ounce each of tequila, water, fresh lime juice and agave nectar (more or less of each to taste).

The Carthage Jail

Unless you've read a bit about the history of the Mormons, you wouldn't know about the Carthage jail in Carthage, IL. It was there that Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, and his brother Hyrum met their deaths at the hands of a mob. The rest, as they say, is history.

One branch of my family tree, the Brownings, played a small role in that history. The jail was built between 1839 and 1841 and was used as a jail for 25 years. It was then sold to a Mr. Peterson, who owned it for about 12 years, then sold it to my great-great-grandfather James M. Browning, who used it as a residence. He remodeled it extensively, removing the bars from the windows, moving the kitchen and various interior walls. After his death, his wife sold it to the Mormon church. It was then restored to its current condition (see photo) and is now being used as a tourist attraction.

An interesting little tidbit, eh? While one branch of the Browning family was Mormon (see my earlier reference to the gunsmith John Browning), I don't believe that James M. Browning was. In my collection of family documents I've not found any specific reference to his faith. But we are blessed to have the family Bible he passed down to his children, and that book speaks of a faith that I and my family embrace. Thank you, great-great-grandfather!

A Discovery From The Family Archives

Over the Christmas holiday, Dana and I brought out the family Bible and a stack of papers filled with background on one branch of my family tree: the Brownings. All of us love family lore, but Dana is especially enthralled with family history. We had a lot of fun reading the various notes and letters, some of which had some truly interesting tidbits about our ancestors.

My full name is David Browning Barnes. I was named after David Milton Browning, my great grandfather, or more specifically my father's maternal grandfather. The Browning clan is made up of rugged individuals, and David was a prime example.

Another example is my earliest American ancestor, William Browning. Born in England in 1586, he landed in Virginia near the mouth of the James river in... get this... 1619! This was a year before the Mayflower landed at Plymouth, Massachusetts. (Side note: one branch of Trudi's family tree has been in America far longer than that... the Cherokees!) Needless to say, forging a life under those conditions took some guts. William evidently made a good go of it; he was an active member of the Jamestown colony and owned 650 acres of land. Here's a photo of the Jamestown colony today.

The Brownings were part of the westward migration in the 19th century. A number of them were Mormons who settled in Utah, among them John Browning, the famous gunmaker. I'll tell you about an interesting story about the link between the Brownings and the Mormons soon.

Things I'd Like To Do In 2009

They say New Year's resolutions are made to be broken, so I'll just call them "things I'd like to do in 2009." Here's my incomplete list:

• Take some bass lessons. I'm a pretty basic bass player, and I'd love to improve my skills, and maybe learn some new ones, like playing "walking" bass lines.
• Play guitar more. I didn't play guitar much last year and I miss it.
• Learn Spanish. I took a Spanish class in 2008 and would like to continue to study it. Right now I can order in a restaurant, greet people, and talk about the weather but beyond that, forget it.
• Continue to exercise. This past year I got into the habit of going to the Y and getting some exercise on a regular basis. It's paid off: I feel better, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are just fine.
• Lose the 5 pounds I gained in 2008 and lose another 5 pounds. In order to do that, I need to get a little more "South Beach-y." The South Beach diet helped me change my eating habits and get my "vital signs" where they should be.
• Read more. In the last half of '08 I started reading more than I usually do, and I enjoyed it a lot. I want to continue that in 2009.
• Get to know my grandkids. Lori you've met. I'm looking forward to watching her grow. My grandson is coming in early February. I'm so excited to meet him!
• Keep growing at work. It's easy for me to go from task to task and not spend as much time as I should thinking long term, where I'd like to take my career.
• Be more positive. Those who know me know that I tend to be a worst-case-scenario guy. I don't think it's upbringing; it's just how I'm wired. I've made some progress rerouting my wiring this past year. Gotta continue that in 2009.

That'll do for now. How about you?

Happy New Year!

2008 is now behind us and what a year it has been. The economic downturn hit so many people so hard and will continue to challenge us in 2009 and beyond. On the political front.... wow. Unbelievable.

Personally, 2008 was a big one for me. First, it was the year I became a grandfather. The beautiful New Year's baby you see here is none other than granddaughter Lori Hernandez. Her arrival on April 24th changed everything. It took me a while to get into the grandpa groove, but I'm in it now, and it's great.

Another highlight for me in 2008 was to see Trudi continue to grow as an artist. She produced some really nice pastels, several of which she turned into cards (Snapfish is so cool!). She is the best thing in my life, and every year that goes by only reinforces that.

I'm also thankful for my friends, who blessed my life this past year more than they know. Too many great visits to even remember. Went to the opera a number of times, which was tons of fun (and brought some "cul-cha" into my life!). I would like to have had more music jam sessions and "guy movie nights," but the ones we did have were great. And I got to play bass at church a bunch, and that was really special.

Professionally, 2008 was a good year, too. I learned a lot and, I think, grew a lot. HP is full of good people, and I was blessed to have worked with the best of the bunch. No, seriously, I mean that. And I'm hopeful that I'll get to continue to work with them in 2009.

New Year's resolutions? Yeah, I have a few, and I'll tell you about them soon.

But in the meantime, Happy New Year, y'all!