Do You Ear What I Hair?

I really like the stage of life I'm in. The girls are all grown up. Two fine sons in law. Two awesome grandkids. Good job with a good company. And I'm married to Trudi.

Is there any downside? Well, not so much a downside, just an annoyance. Aches and pains? Nah, I can deal with those. Wanna know? I'm going to tell you anyway.

It's ear hair. We have really good lighting in the bathrooms at work, and you can see every little thing. Today I found a really long one growing out of the top of my ear. Honest. Like half an inch! Why didn't somebody take me aside? I must have been walking around with this one for weeks. Sheesh.

Why is this happening? I'm told it's because of an immutable law of aging: the conservation of body hair. Lose it in one place, gain it in another. When a guy turns 40 or so, he starts sprouting hair in places where hair just plain doesn't belong.

You can't wish it away; you've got to be vigilant. Pull it. Tweeze it. Trim it. Nair it. Wax it. Whatever it takes.

Of course there are those who not only don't remove it, they cultivate it. Here's a pic of the Guinness record holder for the longest ear hair. Radhakant Baijpai is an Indian grocer who "boasts" ear hair measuring 10 inches long.

Not only is he the world record holder, he's... get this... married.

I stand in awe.