Changes That Heal

If you look at my profile, you'll see that one of my favorite books is Changes that Heal, by Dr. Henry Cloud. It's such a cliché to say that something changed your life, but this book has been truly transformational for me.

The subtitle of the book is "How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future," and that is a great way to sum up the book. A clinical psychologist and follower of Christ, Cloud brings both sound psychological principles and Biblical truths to bear in helping us understand the areas of brokenness from our past and develop ways to heal those areas and move beyond them. There are four sections:

• Bonding with others to form truly intimate relationships
• Separating from others and developing a sense of self
• Understanding the good and bad in yourself and others
• Grow emotionally and spiritually toward adulthood

I particularly benefited from the last section. According to Cloud, even though we live as adults, there can be areas of our personality that have not yet become fully adult. These can lead to all sorts of subtle but chronic problems. Approval addiction in adults, for example, could stem from a lack of affirmation as a child.

This book really opened my eyes to a lot of the emotional baggage I've brought into adulthood. Seriously, it was like a light going on. Have I moved past all of my "stuff"? Well, no, but I have been able to name my issues – the all-important first step – and make some good progress towards healing.

You owe it to yourself to check out this book.